I mentioned in a couple comments in a couple other places that the Mrs. and I were planning to attend a black-tie charity event in town. The Mrs. wanted to do it and got us the tickets. I went whole-hog and got us a limo for the night, the expense of which was totally worth it once I saw how excited she was over getting a limo ride. I took her to one of those “OMG YOU GOT A TABLE THERE?!” restaurants and had one of the best steaks I’ve ever eaten. Then we hit the event.
It was unremarkable in every way except one:
Apparently, folks these days have no concept of the fact that “black tie” actually means something. “Black tie” is a condensed way of expressing the fact that an event has a very specific dress code:
For men, it involves a black dinner jacket with satin collar and lapels, white shirt, black pants with the satin stripe down the side, and a black neck tie and patent leather shoes (think James Bond, and you'll be there). For women, it is generally an ankle or calf-length gown. My wife had this ankle-length dark blue number with an open back and spaghetti straps. I got the standard by standard black tie tuxedo.
The thing is, if the event really means it, this dress code isn’t negotiable. Many events will turn you away at the door if you don’t come in “black tie” apparel.
Apparently, the “black tie” part of this event was just a polite suggestion. The worst dressed man I saw there was wearing gym shorts, a red hoodie sweatshirt, and a baseball cap with long, unwashed hair coming out from under it. The most common outfit for men was a nice pair of blue jeans and a button up shirt. There were a few more that came in dockers and a button up shirt, several of them with a neck tie. There were only four other men out of over a hundred men there who actually met the dress code, me included.
Look, guys, I know that you probably didn’t have education in this sort of stuff, because the public schools are too busy teaching you about multi-culturalism to actually give you any culture, but if a damned backwoods boy like myself can be arsed to know about “black tie” and what that means, I don’t think it’s too damned much to ask you to Google it real quick before you show up to an affair that has explicitly set a dress code. It pissed me off that I was one of only four men who actually figured it out, but that regardless, I was the one who got to feel overdressed and uncomfortable for the evening.
Mrs. Goober looked lovely, and I think it did her some good to dress up and unwind for a night. We had a good time, and rang in the New Year like a boss. Hell, I’d even go do far as to say we did it like a SIR….