Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Life Isn't Fair, and That Isn't Anyone's Fault, and They Don't Owe You Accomodation

I’m a very big man.  I’m overweight, but not really fat.  I am narrower at the hips than the shoulder, by a pretty fair margin.  My waist is 44 inches around, my chest is 56 inches, and my shoulders are “I don’t know how big around, but a lot”.  I used to be able to bench press over 400 pounds.  Probably not anymore. 

Okay, definitely not anymore.  But still, my body weight, at least.  My body weight is 3(cough cough)hund(cough)red and (cough) forty (cough) pounds.

What?  You didn’t hear me?  340 pounds.  Get your hearing checked, would you? 

I’m a quarter inch shy of 6’-5” tall. 

Many people assume that being big has some serious benefits.  It does.  Rarely do I have to worry about someone trying to start fights with me.  I get noticed when I walk into a room, and gain a certain amount of automatic respect just by being huge.  I can hide a full-sized service pistol on my frame and it disappears, so concealed carry is easy as hell for me. 

But it also sucks in a lot of ways, too.   I can’t ride roller coasters, generally.  Finding lawn chairs built for a guy my size is an effort in futility (I break one a year, minimum).  Finding clothing is almost impossible (I wear a 3X tall shirt.  My neck is 23 inches around, which is very close to Mrs. Goober’s waist size).  I can only comfortably drive American or German cars – I’ve never once driven any other import that I could comfortably fit in.  I cannot fit in a coach class seat on an airplane; the place where my shoulders and neck meet is above the headrest on the seat, and if I don’t have an aisle seat, if I push my outside shoulder hard against the plane wall, my other shoulder still goes into the adjoining seat by several inches; I can also get both armrests down, sort of, on either side of my hips, but it is horribly uncomfortable.  I’ve never zip lined, and never will, because I’ve yet to find a zipline company that will allow me to go. 

I say all of this because I’ve never expected anyone to accommodate all of this for me.  I am not suing airlines for discriminating against me because they make me buy a more expensive seat on their planes by making the seats too small.  I’m not suing lawnchair manufacturing companies for making most lawnchairs with a 225 pound limit.  I’m not suing 6 flags for not accommodating me on their rollercoasters.  I don’t think it is unfair and action-worthy that I pay 25% more for the same shirt because I have to buy it in big and tall sizes. 

I recognize that I am outside of the norm, and while that isn’t my fault, it is my responsibility to deal with it, and no one else’s. 

At the linked article, we find yet another example of yet another person claiming that their being a fatass is a disability, and that the world owes them special accommodation or something. 

It’s Lindy West.  Fair Warning.  


  1. Could be worse. I know a guy who's 6'8" and 360(we call him "Tiny," go figure), and he is a SEVERE claustrophobe. The entire world is too small for him.

    By the way, you owe me twelve bucks for that lawn chair. ;)

    1. It can get a little constricting even to me, but "Tiny" would make me look small. I can't even imagine...

      It is a cinch that he never flies anywhere, at least unless he buys first class ticket... Am I right?

  2. Also, I imagine you have quite a presence at a black tie affair.

    1. I try to have quite a presence anywhere I go, but yeah, Mrs. Goober tells me that look totally hawt in a tux...

      But the best part about me is how modest I am. Really.