Thursday, March 27, 2014

How Does He Even Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

I was perusing the comments of an anti-gun piece the other day, and a pro-gun guy showed up and said something along the lines of “Shall not be infringed” and in response, the article’s author came on and said:

“So you’d be okay with your neighbor owning an assault weapon and high capacity magazines!  Could you sleep at night knowing that he has the ability to kill you at any moment he chooses?” with such a snotty tone that it was obvious that the author thought he’d really backed the commenter into  corner.

The commenter responded “He DOES own several of them.  We go shooting a couple of times a month.  It’s a lot of fun!”

I, on the other hand, was not so kind.  I responded:

“How in the hell does a soup sandwich like you even manage to get out of bed in the morning?  How is it that you haven’t melted down into a quivering lump of terrified jelly?  I mean, you’ve probably shared a beer or a bottle of wine with your neighbor at least once.  How did you manage to not run away screaming in terror when you realized that he could break the glass in the bottle at any moment and plunge the shards into your throat?  Did you even think about what he could do with the corkscrew?  How do you sleep at night knowing that your neighbor is only one stomp of the gas pedal away from running his car right through your house and killing you while you sleep?  If you really think about it, he could get you any time, right?  You’ve probably even given him a key to your home, haven’t you?  Remember how he was looking at you last summer while he was trimming his hedges?  Imagine what that hedge trimmer would do to you!”

He responded that he doesn’t sit around thinking about all the ways that his neighbor could kill him, and that he’s not scared all the time, as I allege. 

“So why do you fear your neighbor owning a gun, then?”  Never did get an answer.  

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