On Power and Gender

I got a response from a reader the other day on my rantings on equality from Wolfman.  Click to read it.  Here is my response.  It ended up being long enough that I thought I'd just make it another post.  I explore some things here that might be uncomfortable to some readers, but recognize one thing:  I am not a violent man - quite the contrary, in fact.  Despite my charged rantings on this blog, I have a reputation for being a gentle, mostly harmless man.  I am not a chauvinist or misogynist.  I merely believe that I see truth in a situation that has been distorted and forbidden by feminists to the point to where we can't even talk about them without feeling uncomfortable.  I'm merely asking why, and pointing out what I see as truth:

Wolfman:

I think your comment is very indicative to the stories I’ve been hearing about the experiences within families for my entire life, that have strong-willed women as the power behind the throne.

I’ve long thought that the claims of “patriarchy” were just silly, because the claims were founded on one fact that feminists could not get past, and that fact was that throughout most of history, men have always held the positions of formal power in society. 

What this forgets is that there are other ways to gain and wield power beyond the formal power structures.  Women still had power.  Lots and lots of it.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the informal “power behind the throne” of men’s formal power structure asserted by women was as powerful, or even more powerful throughout most of history.  Women were able to, and always have been able to, influence their men.  Yes, the man was the one who cast his vote or stated his case in Parliament, but she helped influence him.  I know my wife would with me (although since we agree mostly on things, her influence probably wouldn’t change much).  I base this on stories like yours: stories of strong-willed women working behind the scenes, and the fact that men are well served to keep their women happy. 

Also, there has to be something to the fact that on a pure, brutal level, the only reason that women have any power at all is because men grant it to them.  Practically speaking, if men decided tomorrow to turn every woman on Earth into chattel slaves and have them chained to the radiator in their basement to use as they saw fit, there is nothing that women could do to stop it.  This is why I liken militant, angry feminists to a Chihuahua biting at the heels of a patient Rottweiler.  They don’t have any clue what fire they’re playing with, and the day that men grow tired of their shit is the day that the angry feminist stops being physically capable of giving them anymore. 

This, to me, is proof that men see women as more than just sex slaves and property, as feminists love to claim.  This is proof that men value a woman’s company, love, and companionship.  It is proof that men need the love and touch and support of a woman to better deal with the slings and arrows of our lives, and would rather have a woman’s companionship than possess her as property.  If men didn’t value women as a partner in life, then things would be very, very different; the consequences for women could be very, very ugly, and so I see as suicidal the tendency of feminists to mock and ridicule all of the qualities of a woman that men value. 

Does it suck that the only way a woman can get power is if men allow it?  Maybe, but that discussion itself is rooted in meaninglessness, because whether it sucks or not, it is the truth.  Feminists say that they don’t want to live in a world where men grant power to women. 

My response? 

You already do, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  You can indoctrinate men and try to make them all into compliant sissies if you like, and you might even succeed, but if you do, it will only be because the men have allowed it.  Even compliant sissy boys, if angered, would handily win the fight that would ensue.

So women?  Suck it up.  You are different than men, in many ways too numerous to list.  Deal with it; and while you’re dealing with it, understand that you have a power all your own, which no man could wield, and is far more powerful than any man could hope.  You are our partners; our companions.  We value you and love you, and if you want, we will provide for you, as you provide for us.  If you want power, that’s where you’ll find it: in love and partnership.   

I guess my point is this:  women have not been as powerless as feminists love to claim.